Richard E. Fowlks, Attorney at Law

Divorce is full of emotions, even for the children

The end of a marriage is hard on the adults, but it might be even more difficult on the children. This is an upheaval of the only way of life they've known. They might be upset that their parents won't live in the same home. The fear of the unknown might be real for them. One way that you might be able to help them to cope with the situation is to help them learn how to express their feelings in an appropriate manner.

How you have to help your children depends largely upon their maturity and age. You won't have to coach a teen in the same way you do a preschooler. These factors can also have an impact on how affected they are by the split.

You need to look at clues from your children to determine when they need help. It can look like everything is fine on the surface, but there could be some challenges going on deeper down. You might be able to find out how your child is feeling by discussing your own emotions. This helps them to see that they have a right to feel how they do. It also sets an example of good ways to express feelings.

Some feelings your children have will be hard to work through. Make sure they know that the end of the marriage was the choice of the adults and that they didn't have a part in that. Help them to see that this can be a positive change for them. This is especially easy if there was a lot of arguing going on before the marriage dissolved.

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Richard E. Fowlks, Attorney at Law
1607 N.E. 41st Avenue
Portland, OR 97232

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