Richard E. Fowlks, Attorney at Law

Don't try to compare your divorce to others

A divorce is a personal journey, so you have to ensure that you are making decisions based on the circumstances you face. Trying to compare what your friend or family member went through with what you are going through can lead to frustration. Instead of trying to look at everyone else's matters, focus on your own divorce. This can make it easier to make decisions that are best for your life now and also in the future.

You probably know people who had very contentious divorces and you may know some whose were more amicable. When you file your own petition for divorce, you should strive to be like the latter and not the former. A contentious divorce is hard on everyone involved. To that end, try to focus on the positives of every situation. Be willing to compromise so that you can move forward with your single life.

Another important point to remember in this situation is that everyone heals at their own rate. You shouldn't think that you will be fine in a couple of weeks just because someone you know moved on that fast. Instead, be prepared to work through your emotions fully instead of trying to rush through the process.

You will likely encounter some challenges throughout the pendency of your divorce. Try to tackle these one at a time so that you don't get overwhelmed. There are many decisions to make. Be sure that you aren't allowing these decisions to overlap when it isn't appropriate. For example, you can't base a child custody decision on something that happened during the property division process.

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Richard E. Fowlks, Attorney at Law
1607 N.E. 41st Avenue
Portland, OR 97232

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