Richard E. Fowlks, Attorney at Law

Underlying sources of anger should be addressed when divorcing

There are many things that can happen when adults divorce. One of the things that can make a challenging situation even more difficult is when there are underlying sources of anger and contention. This might be the case if a spouse was having an affair or if monetary issues or abuse led to the split.

In order to take the divorce's tone down a bit, you have to be willing to address the sources of anger. This doesn't mean that you have to work with your ex on this. Instead, you need to find ways to cope with the situation yourself. You might need to see a therapist to help you find coping methods. Remember that you have to put your own mental health first.

A contentious divorce is damaging to all parties involved. If you have children, you need to remember to put the kids first. This might mean that you have to put those contentious matters to rest so that you and your ex are able to move forward with a parenting plan that encourages your child to thrive.

Children typically benefit from having parents who can work together. They can learn valuable life skills from seeing this cooperation that can help them throughout their childhood and adulthood. Your kids are watching how you handle those difficult interactions with your ex. When you keep your cool and react in an appropriate manner to stressful situations, the kids will likely notice your reaction and they might also realize that not everything is as bad as it seems on the surface.

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Richard E. Fowlks, Attorney at Law
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Portland, OR 97232

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