Richard E. Fowlks, Attorney at Law

Longer marriages have challenges when you divorce

When you've been married for a decade or longer, you might have some challenges that people who have shorter marriages don't have when they split. Planning for moving past these can help you feel more stable as you start your new single life.

One thing that many people don't acknowledge in these cases is that the breakdown of the marriage began a long time before the union actually ended. Things like financial difficulties and major life changes might have pushed the decision along.

For some people, the children are what held the marriage together. Once the kids are grown and flown, there isn't any common ground for the spouses. This leads to them beginning to grow apart more as time progresses.

Even if you are the one who asked for the divorce, you will likely feel sadness and grief. This is normal when a marriage of any length ends, but it might be more pronounced after a longer marriage. You might feel bad because of the sudden loss of companionship. It might be hard for you to accept that you don't have the person you spent so many years with.

You may notice that your children struggle with the split. Even if they are grown when it happens, they might still have trouble adjusting to the changes that happen.

Another area that is hard to cope with is having to split up the property. This is complex if you have accumulated considerable assets during the marriage. You will have to carefully consider each option for division before you agree to one so that you know you are making the decision that's best for you.

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Richard E. Fowlks, Attorney at Law
1607 N.E. 41st Avenue
Portland, OR 97232

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